Open Plan Offices - A Simple Test

Two things in corporate life indicate that you've made it, or just where you stand in the pecking order.
The first is parking.
1. Just how close to the front door is your reserved bay?
2. Do you have a reserved bay?
3. Do you have to park in the muddy field across the road?

The second is getting your own office and ultimately the corner office. Or at least this used to be the case until things got all democratic and the open plan office arrived. Now it's how close to the window you get, if you actually get a permanent desk or if you have to flit around "hot desking". Arriving late to office, you stand out like Bakkies Botha at a dwarf festival. Trying to surreptitiously find a desk at 9.15 with an attempted look of perkiness, and convincing slapping down of notebook as if you have just arrived from an important out-of-office meeting doesn't really fool anyone.

The embarrassing moments are common place and arise when your mate sends you some innocuous looking file that springs open on your screen with a set of 48DDD breasts and a full volume soundtrack accompaniment to the tune of "Hey everybody I'm watching porno over here". At least some people do provide some "Open with care" warnings.

Most of all I just find the environment damn unproductive, no matter how many policies and procedures are in place.
I have come to a simple test and conclusion then, that unless you work in an industry where it is acceptable to have the radio on loud in the background you should not have an open plan office.