“…the trouble with having the vote, is that other people have it too.” JR Lucas

JR Lucas is quite an interesting bloke with a rather convincing argument "proving" free will but that's not the point today. I just like the quote I used in the header.

Today I'm with Steven Friedman in his Thoughtleader column.

"This was not mob rule. In the main, it was active, democratic participation, precisely what the ANC’s preoccupation with public displays of unity has denied its conferences for the past 17 years. If the Zuma delegates are now in the majority in the ANC, and this is how they intend to act at future meetings, the ANC may well be in better democratic health than it has been for a very long time."

I don't know if I know enough about Jacob Zuma beyond the Zapiro showerheaded caricatures and his disconcerting middle name "GEDLEYIHLEKISA" (the one who smiles at you while causing harm to you). (per Fred Khumalo).

I do believe that there may be better candidates for a future president of the country - but who, and why haven't they shown their hand?

But - while his historic actions are questionable he is currently saying the right things:

On Zimbabwe:

"It is even more tragic that other world leaders who witness repression pretend it is not happening, or is exaggerated. When history eventually deals with the dictators, those who stood by and watched should also bear the consequences.
“A shameful quality of the modern world is to turn away from injustice and ignore the hardships of others,” he charged.“There is no substitute or alternative to democracy, even in instances where we feel that democratic processes threaten our personal interests."

And on crime:

“In a country with no death penalty, the laws must bite”

I have a vision of Foucault style drawing & quartering. (Read the harrowing preface to Foucault's Discipline & Punish here). And even the lily liberal in me may argue for that.

While friends apply for residency or pack quickly for other climes I think I'm in for the ride. Looking forward to it in fact.

In a comment some 20 months ago I wrote this:

1. We are not a normal democracy,
2. Despite this, our democratic and legal checks and balances are far more robust than Russia's were, and
3. We ain't seen nothing yet!

And to close, Evita Bezuidenhout has inimitably chipped in - likening JZ to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Happy Holidays.

Everything bad is not new but it still smells queer

Jonny Steinberg writes in his opinion piece in Business Day.

"Why is it important to remind ourselves of these continuities? Because if yesterday’s illusion was that everything bad would vanish, today’s illusion is that everything bad is new. So many of the black, working-class people I have interviewed recently express nostalgia, insisting that life was more stable in the old days. Their amnesia is destructive. It robs them of the capacity to measure what has changed and what hasn’t, how far we have come, and how little we have moved. Without that perspective, we have no ground beneath our feet; we risk driving ourselves insane."

Please bear this mind my dear ladies and gentlemen who at every turn and around every braai fire are exhibiting renewed and anxious ambitions of packing for Perth. Perspective is a long term game. Hang in there with me.

There seems to be a current buzzing mindset that the book of the South African Dream began with the 1995 rugby world cup win as the opening chapter (the release of Nelson Mandela as a prologue) and has just reached it's finale with the 2007 spoils marking the final chapter and the end of a flirting golden era.I disagree - if anything these events are minor parentheses on a single chapter of the story of this land.

It's complicated living here but I'm a firm believer in the mantra of "The more things change the more they stay the same."

But one has to bear in mind that it is the nature of the place - the country has its own Jungian consciuosness - it cannot be changed to fit in with our own normative view of just what it means to be part of (this) civilisation.

As Carl Jung himself noted on arriving in Africa :
"I kept thinking that the land smelled queer. It was the smell of blood, as though the soil was soaked with blood."

Hello There

Where have I been?

– a most unproductive day in office today as I sit barefoot and sockless in support of Jake White and his prodigies. May the force be with them tomorrow. ....So let me venture back into the netherworld of blogging with a newsy bit of diary writing to assure all that I’m still alive, kicking and slowly pickling my liver.

Still sailing my sinking ship at work, dodging icebergs and the like. Seems a bit rough though in that I think my principals are losing patience and are likely to pull the plug or sell the family silver from under my feet. I am not sure that I blame them – but it’s a bugger to think that a year’s worth of 70 hour weeks may have been in vain.

The industry still runs on diesel and nicotine and has an official language of bad English but it’s been a good ride. And my clients are still full of shit. But as Johan Rupert always said – don’t diss your customer – “The customer is king – he pays your salary”. Now on that case – how come he (Rupert) gets the inside track on the Rugby World Cup – flying in and out of France – hobnobbing with players etc. & Ernie too. Seems that if you’ve got serious cash then you getto watch good rugby.

On the home front been renovating my old place with it’s wooden floors and lekker back stoep, and the wlaking distance to office. Now gone are the passages and poky fin de siecle bedrooms – having made way for large airy open plan living space. One word of advice though – don’t try and actually live in a place while knocking down almost every internal wall in the place, relocating bathrooms and demolishing kitchens. Must admit that pots & pans scrub up very well in the bathtub. Oh hindsight is such a perfect science is it not?

To end a brief paragraph from Bryan Magee’s “Confessions of a Philosopher”, a paragraph which – if I was half as bright as him I would have written about myself.

“All my life I have been brimming over with an almost uncontainably powerful desire to live. I feel it as an ever-present drive, thirst, lust, of which I have been inescapably aware since childhood. This drive would have to be somehow broken before I could calmly accept my own demise, which until then will mean accepting the unacceptable. I should not, however, misrepresent myself—it is not only with my personal survival that I am concerned: I have also a greedy, sharp-edged curiosity about how things are, a clamant need to understand, that will not let me relax; and about this there is something impersonal and objective. I believe I would still have it if I were indestructible.”

Peachy day in PE today. Love and happiness to all of you.

Albert Ellis - A Stoic to the end

Albert Ellis, archetypical stoic and the father of CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) died aged 93 on 24 July 2007.

A great article and his final interview in Prospect Magazine.

Some epic quotes :

"He is also a colourful character, given to swearing like a fishwife (he has suggested that Freud's ideas were "horseshit from start to finish") and insistent on his view that "most human beings are out of their fucking minds." You could say he is a modern Diogenes: foul-mouthed, free-thinking, trying to liberate us from the mental habits that make us miserable."

And on being fired from the board of the institute that he created: "Ellis himself manages to stay stoical about the whole nasty business. "They [the board] have behaved abominably," he says. "But they're fucked-up, fallible human beings, just like everyone else.""

His writing and thinking is a model for survival of the fucked-up human beings we all are.

Why I stay

On being pushed why I stay, and why I want to stay. I finally figured it out. I'm a gambler through and through.

I could see this sky from many safer places but I think I'd just detest the people around me if I wasn't here.

I just hope the dice roll well.

"Goudstad stoutgat/Ek moet net aan jou boud vat/Vergeet nou maar jou, wat/Vir jou het ek ietsie spesiaal

Kaalgat in Kaapstad/Kan ek maar by jou slaap, skat/My reënjas is al papnat/Vir jou het ek ietsie spesiaal

Chorus:Dis ‘n kwessie van tyd/Sê die missies vir die meid/Dis die bloed in die pan/Dis die blos op die wang/Dis die vloek van die slang/Dis die moeilikheid met die man

Voodoo in Windhoek/Ek wens ek kon jou blinddoek/Jou boyfriend kan ons inboek/Vir jou het ek ietsie spesiaal" - Valiant Swart (Boland Punk)

.

Capsicum Frutescens (var. tabasco)

At last I've found it. The cure for airline food.

While it gets the odd skeef look from the tannies sitting next to me when I whip the bottle out my laptop bag, what the hell, it makes a surefire difference to "chicken or beef?".

Time

Time: The only finite resource we have.

"Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth
You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your cigarette
The wall-to-wall is calling, it lingers, then you forget"
- David Bowie (Rock & Roll Suicide)

Reportedly based on the the poem Chants Andalous by Spanish poet Manuel Machado:

La vida es un cigarillo
Hierno, ceniza y candela
Unos la furnan de prisa
Y algunos la saborean.

Translated as:

Life is a cigarette
Cinder, ash and fire
Some smoke it in a hurry
Others savour it.

Sorry folks that's all I can the time I can afford to post at this point. See you in a month or 2 when I predict some normality....

The Zulu Girl

When in the sun the hot red acres smoulder,
Down where the sweating gang its labour plies,
A girl flings down her hoe, and from her shoulder
Unslings her child tormented by the flies.

She takes him to a ring of shadow pooled
By thorn-trees: purpled with the blood of ticks,
While her sharp nails, in slow caresses ruled,
Prowl through his hair with sharp electric clicks,

His sleepy mouth plugged by the heavy nipple,
Tugs like a puppy, grunting as he feeds:
Through his frail nerves her own deep languors ripple
Like a broad river sighing through its reeds.

Yet in that drowsy stream his flesh imbibes
An old unquenched unsmotherable heat-
The curbed ferocity of beaten tribes,
The sullen dignity of their defeat.

Her body looms above him like a hill
Within whose shade a village lies at rest,
Or the first cloud so terrible and still
That bears the coming harvest in its breast.

- Roy Campbell (1901 - 1957)

Gen Y

"This is the most high-maintenance workforce in the history of the world. The good news is that they're also going to be the most high performing." - Nadhira A. Hira on Generation Y in Fortune (June 4, 2007)

Self publishers of the world unite

A blog friend recently got her book, African Ways, into print by self-publishing.

It seems as simple as ABC and that 1000's are succesfully doing just this, judging by Lulu.com Top Sellers.

I think this concept is fantastic, there is something wonderful about getting the printed word onto black & white bound paper. But maybe it's just nostalgic old me.

Brewery

My friends at SA Breweries have an interesting section of their website where they try and debunk various myths and and rumours about their beer. Mainly this concerns claims that their brew is pumped full of chemicals. Sadly the attempts at debunking can be more accurately described as straight denial coupled with the usual SAB doublespeak, "We use an internationally accepted brewing process ".

And claims : "It takes over seven weeks to go from barley to Castle! "

And then here that : "The brewing process is an entirely natural process which takes between 18 and 25 days."

I know, I know. I too sometimes feel like I miss out on a few days after a good bender, but a whole month!

I still love the stuff though.

They do raise an interesting point about the much vaunted Reinheitsgebot, that: "The law said that beer should be made exclusively from malt, hops, and water. This law was introduced as a means of collecting more taxes from people - beer was being made from odd ingredients that were not as highly taxable as was malt and hops."

So the taxman not only influences how much I currently pay per pint he even influenced the ingredients generations ago.

I guess it's just best to play it by beer.

A parable

Let us begin with a parable. It is a parable developed from a tale told John Wisdom in his haunting and revolutionary article "Gods." Once upon a time two explorers came upon a clearing in the jungle. In the clearing were growing many flowers and many weeds. One explorer says, "Some gardener must tend this plot." The other disagrees, "There is no gardener." So they pitch their tents and set a watch. No gardener is ever seen. "But perhaps he is an invisible gardener." So they set up a barbed-wire fence. They electrify it. They patrol with bloodhounds. (For they remember how H. G. Well's The Invisible Man could be both smelt and touched though he could not be seen.) But no shrieks ever suggest that some intruder has received a shock. No movements of the wire ever betray an invisible climber. The bloodhounds never give cry.

Yet still the Believer is not convinced. "But there is a gardener, invisible, intangible, insensible, to electric shocks, a gardener who has no scent and makes no sound, a gardener who comes secretly to look after the garden which he loves." At last the Sceptic despairs, "But what remains of your original assertion? Just how does what you call an invisible, intangible, eternally elusive gardener differ from an imaginary gardener or even from no gardener at all?"

Antony Flew, in his book Reason and Responsibility (1968):

And to conclude, ...

"Why should you mind being wrong if someone can show you that you are?"
AJ (Freddie) Ayer

Save me from your followers

Christopher Hichens should have been at King's Park on Saturday.

Via Pierre de Vos, I travelled down the road to this great radio interview with Hichens. He pulls no punches, in defending his book, god is not Great.

It had me pondering last Saturday's rugby.
There I was, still smarting at the inanity of the Sharks throwing the game away in the dying moments and then I look up to see Jaco van der Westhuizen first cavorting like a pole-dancer on the posts and then instructing me via his TShirt slogan that the Sharks are a bunch of evil no-gooders. He prayed harder and god brought him a blind referee and Bryan Habana.

Flat Stanley Rocks

Took a quick & dirty weekend trip to Cape Town to see these guys launch their second album, "Between 2wo Worlds".

time and space collide in this moment held inside / configure and confide that you can run but cannot hide / one breath beyond compare may someday get you there / centuries gone by, generations fly / enlightened and enslaved of your ancestral alibi / but no wisdom comes at cost or have you forgottend what your father's fathers lost / if you want to come out alive / close your eyes, freedive.

Some brief clips on Zoopy will give the flavour, but take my word that these guys are amongst the best acoustic rockers this country has produced. I'm not saying that their music is groundbreaking, there is a level of it being derivative, kind of heard somewhere before, but we all absorb our influences don't we? It grows on one.

Of course, lead singer Andy Mac has a huge stage presence, literally pavarottine as well as figuratively. But he has the vocal strength and professionalism to match.

Missed out on what I gather was a monster afterparty as I had to dash soon after the gig to capitalise on an indulgent hotel room that cost about R10 a minute, but that in itself was also well worth it. Great breakfasts too.

I want this job

I want this job. Just where do they find these people? SAB copywriters I mean. They should know better than to navigate to their wordprocessors via the brewery cellars.

Another gem in the blurb announcing the arrival of Hansa Marzen Gold.

"The announcement of the new brand is well timed; as it is named after the German word for March, indicating the beginning of spring in Europe. Brewers in 12th century Germany were the first to devise ways of allowing their beer to mature through the hot summer months by brewing in March and storing their beer in alpine caves until September."

What on earth does this have to do with anything about drinking a beer with a manudactured brand name, brewed, marketed and consumed in 21st century South Africa? These guys should just learn to shut up and let the beer+ talk for itself. If only they would hurry this on to the shelves (in sleepy PE) so that I can give my honest opinion of the stuff.

+ I quote SAB: "Hansa Marzen Gold is neither a pilsner nor a regular lager, but a ‘marzen-style’ German beer" . So beer it is.

Feet in mouths

Old rugby administrators never die, are never fired, they just live on with their feet in their mouths. (Robbie v Hoskins). Robbie by TKO in the 8th round.

Some time in August last year alwaysthewit wrote:

"Hey and what-ho no Watson. I am glad. Never fear, he will play in the World Cup but he is not the panacea for the teams current difficulties right now. If he were to be selected now he will be set up to fail. "

Well, now Luke Watson truly has been set up to fail. I still think that they should pick him at full-back though. Much less likey to kick the ball away in the dying moments of the game than James or Steyn. Oh woe, how they did ruin a wonderful spectactle by some loose thinking at the end. Wish they had put their feet in the mouths rather than on the ball.

Second in the super 14 ain't so bad, but oh so close to the top.

While my air guitar gently weeps

He's right you know. That David Bullard chap.

I am a "anonymous, scrofulous nerd pumping meaningless drivel into cyberspace at all hours of the day and night simply because I [he] can’t find a girl to sleep with me [him]."

That comment, my dear sir, is offensive, full of half-researched assumptions and as bigoted as any site filled with "hideous racism" that you find so abhorrent.

Mike Stopforth makes the point that:

"..blogging is not wannabe journalism. I keep hearing Print pro’s comparing the two, looking for ways to differentiate, looking for ways to attach relevance and importance. Blogging is it’s own practice, together with the wider digital social networking practice, and I think seeing all bloggers as try-hard journalists is unhelpful"

I agree.

I also agree with Alan at MediaFrenzy that this is the most fantastic piece of marketing that Mr Bullard could possibly have asked for. Perhaps it will indicate the reach of the ZA blogosphere to him.

I sympathise with his attack on the offensive bloggers, but must point out that the wonderful thing is that those of us who are offended can and do use this very medium to expose and challenge bigotry on blogs. As in here.

As for me, when I play my air guitar I play it to the late '60s tune of Mr David Bowie. It's a song called Conversation Piece, and it goes like this:

"And my essays lying scattered on the floor, fulfill their need just by being there."

Go Sharks

Well, I've held my breath all season. Almost too good to be true, but the Sharks have pulled off one good game after another. A convincing start. A brief let-down against the Western Force aside - a fantastic season so far.

Top of the Super14 log!

I cannot complain, and whatever happens in Durban next weekend against the Auckland Blues I will not be disappointed. A season to savour.

Now, may we cruise the whole way through to bring back memories of Currie Cup 1990.

la Première gorgée de bière

I wish I could track down copies of the English edition of this book which I picked in a wonderful bookshop in Oxford years ago. Obviously attracted by the title!+

Strange that a book, which was a solid bestseller in France never took off in English translation. We're left rather with the umpteenth edition of "Chicken soup for the soul". There seems to have been an American edition but I'm not sure it has the same stories.

Delerm narrates wonderful stories on the small pleasures of life as suggested by the title story.

As Observer reviewer John Walsh notes in this 1998 review the book has a very French flavour and were the concept to be applied to English life the stories may have a quite different hue.

LEAF WITH me a-while through The Small Pleasures of Life, an unexpected best-seller in France last year by a floppy-fringed exquisite called Philippe Delerm, which is now available in translation over here. A precious little volume, about as substantial as The Little Book Of Calm, only more elaborately poetic, it offers 34 meditations on tiny joys: the first sip of beer, eating a croissant in the street, the smell of apples, inhaling an anti- cold remedy, pulling on a new autumnal jumper - you get the picture. Some of M Delerm's "plaisirs minuscules" are a little hard to empathise with (Getting your espadrilles wet? The noise of a dynamo?), but you must take your chapeau off to a clever idea.

As you read these two-page epiphanies, however, it is impossible not to imagine how different an English version of the book would be. Instead of Philippe's educated raptures about railway-station travelators and small-town mobile libraries, there would be a lot about wet dogs, conkers, linseed oil on your first cricket bat, the words "Cromarty, Forth, German Bight", Water Splash at Battersea Fun Fair, the front-loading brassieres of public schoolgirls (M Delerm doesn't mention sex at all) and, instead of his ruminative, oh-so- French "first sip of beer", the frictionless texture of your sixth pint of Dogbolter bitter at the aftermath of a London wedding.

I am left wondering then, what South African flavour such a book might take were I too sit down and write it. Something I have oft thought about in fact.

Obviously the first sip of beer remains the keynote story, but it is now a beer that sheds a quick melting shard of ice as I carefully unwrap it from a layer of newspaper. I have haggled with hawkers on a busy street in Masvingo, Zimbabwe for that beer. It is early evening but still equatorially hot and I've still have the dusty tan that only standing in the sun and walking some kilometres on untarred roads can give you. The hawker reached deep into a gas-run deepfreeze for that beer and delivered with a smile. One for me, one for my best mate. Two sips of beer, one for me , one for Craig, sitting on a rock with a world's possessions in my backpack, a freshly pitched tent, a bumpy bus ride to Harare and a whole life ahead of us.

More please, from my dear readers.

+la Première gorgée de bière = (fr) the first sip of beer

PS. Am I ever-briefly back in your lens frame yet, Ant?
PPS. Val - no mail yet.

Waiting for the Barbarians

Good Julian Gough read in this month's Prospect Magazine. Strange how the good things in life become academicised and over analysed, ever more so these days.

Back to simple pleasures I say.

Back to incoherence that parallels our lives.

Back to fun.

Back to a celebration of anarchy.

"You may think that to praise The Simpsons at the expense of Henry James makes me a barbarian. Well, it does, but I'm a very cultured barbarian. The literary novel has gone late Roman. It needs the barbarians. It secretly yearns for them"

I think that life too has gone too "Henry James" and late Roman. It too needs the barbarians.

Novelists have dwelled on recreating the classic rather than reflecting the now. I loved and thoroughly agree with Gough that a nearly hundred year old novel such as Finnegan's Wake "reads like a mash-up of a Google translation of everything ever" and is more representative of the chaos that surrounds us right now than the current crop of novels that are lauded and receive literary kudos.

Much like advertising awards that incestuously go to wonderfully creative ad industry specific ads rather than really effective advertising, literary awards seem to go to writers writing about writing rather than writers who reflect their own view of now.

Cricket Sham Cup 2007

I still cannot believe how annoyed I am at the entire shambolic farce that masqueraded as a showcase for all that I enjoy about cricket. Enough said. Thank heavens it's over.

I am fast being won over by a view that all such outmoded international sports councils (ICC, IRB, FIFA etc) should be abolished and replaced by more "corporate" entities. If it's going to be a professional sport - run it like a corporation - at least then one can fire the CEO rather than have him find a lackey scapegoat now and then.

Keo has a suggestion for rugby : "Go the rebel route".

Hansa Gold. Coming soon, in a green bottle?

There are not many big events in a beer drinkers life in South Africa.

We don't have hundreds of micro-breweries. The few we do have aren't all that spectacular despite my enjoying the Pickled Pig Porter and other stuff from the Nottingham Road Brewery.

We don't have much change in the standard fare.

Every now and then we get a decent new addition to the fold. Pilsner Urquell, for one. More often that not we get repackaged urine, as in Peroni.

So what events have we had:

1. The change in shape of the "dumpy" disposable bottle to that of the "handi".
2. The change of the lable on the Castle Lager bottle in about 1989.
3. The Castle Lager centenary in 1995.
4. The brief re-ermegence of Ohlssons Lager. Not bad that.
5. The end of Lion Ale, now that was a good dop in the last outpost in the '70s.
6. The frigging ridiculous Lion Lager++ fiasco, where SAB added 2 tablespoons of suger to each bottle and repackaged it into a trendy shiny silver-blue bottle in the vain hope of reaching and snaring the impressionable teen market. As usual the SAB marketing speak was at its best. "New Lion will become an accessory to these hip and happening young adults, and will offer them a quality beer that speaks their language." Ultimately resulting in the demise of the Lion brand altogether. I really hope someone lost his job over that.
7. Gladly the current plan by SAB to produce a new quart bottle does not include a plan to reduce the size of the bottle like they did with my pints last year. Good thing that. This country is not yet ready for the next revolution.

So when I posted nearly 2 months ago on SAB-Miller's losing the rights to brew & market Amstel in South Africa, I was eagerly awaiting the new turf war, the new brews etc. But things seem to have gone quiet on that front and by now the poor Amstel drinkers have been forced to try other brews. The lonely restaurant and bars that haven't run out of stock yet are probably not worth visiting. We had a quick flurry of ads promising that the new stuff was being brewed in Amsterdam (from canal water?) and some trite and wounded apologies from SAB, but that was that. Still no Amstel. Still no replacement from SAB.

I understand that Brandhouse will be specially bottling 650ml versions of Amstel to try and pick up the market share that SAB left behind. But, it will take some remarkable distribution efforts to compete on that turf. I suspect that the mass-market who had recently acquired the Amstel taste will as quickly find an alternative (if they haven't already) when their brew is not readily available. Amstel will be left to the miniscule market who frequent establishments that have see-through counters, lumo-blue backlighting and barmen who think they're Tom Cruise, despite probably not even been born when he began juggling cane bottles.

The whisper I heard from the friendly dame at the NBS + the other day was that SAB was bouncing back with a premium version of Hansa, "Hansa Gold", but that that release was being delayed by some objection to them bottling it green bottles with gold foil trim. Chicken on them for not going ahead with that idea. This has received virtually no media coverage at all, bar an oblique reference in Beeld.

The boring bean-counter that I am, I am rather interested to see if the new brews are one up on my existing tipple (Hansa normal).

But I am disappointed that SAB have seen fit to import the rights to a new brand when a golden opportunity existed to resurrect a true South African brand, perhaps in the guise of a premium brand. Lion Lager Gold?, Ohlsson's Cape Premium?


+ "Nearest Bottle Store"
++ I note that Lion Lager is still being brewed in Zimbabwe. Hurrah. And in researching this note found this Lion Lager ad from 1984 on Zoopy. A laugh and serious blast from the past.

Where's Daddy in this picture?

"Daddy's always at work!" - Miss Wit (age 5).

Out of the mouths of babes - ouch.

Looking forward to a decent weekend of family time to focus on the important ones in my life. Wishing an enjoyable one to all of you too.

Andy Warhol - super scream

"Andy, where's my 15 minutes?" -

David Bowie
Found this great online radio station, Pandora, that creates playlists based on your own taste. Fantastic. For instance - if I create "David Bowie Radio Station" it will assume that I probably also like Pearl Jam.

Amazing what one finds to entertain one at 4am in the morning after a long night of midnight oil burning.

Talking Shop

“Who on earth invented the silly convention that it is boring
or impolite to talk shop? Nothing is more interesting to listen to, especially if the shop is not one's own.”

Wystan Hugh Auden

How to win friends and influence people: Chapter 1

Another day in the life. I have only changed one word (somewhere in the last paragraph:).

Memo: To all Staff,

The recent transfer of our payroll to a new service provider has highlighted and made us aware of an error in the way that our previous system was calculating the tax payable by employees. This error has only affected staff who were on the company medical aid scheme.

The effect of this is that since March 2006 staff who are on medical aid, while they have been receiving the correct salary, have had less than the required PAYE amount deducted from their salaries every month and have therefore have been receiving an inflated cash amount every month. This will be evident if staff compare their February 2006 payslip to their March 2006 payslip. The gist of the system error is that the fringe benefit in respect of the company contribution to Medical Aid was not being recognised as taxable income as it should be. The unfortunate result is that staff with higher medical aid costs are most affected.

The payments now reflected now indicate the amounts that should be the net cash component. The result is that affected staff have had a cash benefit over the last 12 months which has now been corrected going forward.

No adjustment has been made in respect of the prior 12 month underdeductions and it is likely that the taxman will detect the underdeduction and the individual tax payer will have to pay the shortfall in the assessed tax for the 2006/7 year of assesment. Should this situation arise the company will assist employees if they receive a tax assessment and they have to pay the taxman the under deducted PAYE, in the form of a loan to the employees to be recovered over an agreed period of time.

On a more positive note - the March 2007 tax amounts have been calculated using the prior year tax tables. When the current year tax tables are applied this will result in a reduction of the tax payable amount which will be adjusted in your next payslip. The exact adjustment will depend on which particular tax bracket you fall into.

I must emphasise that the company has received no benefit as a result of this fuckup and that I am aware that this turn of events may place a unexpected burden on those so affected. I have personally reviewed and recalculated each payslip and while this has confirmed that the majority of payslips are correct a number of errors have been noted which have been forwarded for immediate rectification. If any staff member would like to discuss this with me I encourage you to call me directly at head office or on my cell.

Sincerely,...

Gooi die dice - freakonomically

This is something that has bugged me for a while in the International cricket arena. But it is really just basic economics. And while the tragic end to the life of Bob Woolmer may have reminded me of my thesis it is not really restricted to a comment of underworld matchfixing. This is much bolder than that.

As I said – basic economics. Take a normal series (Test or ODI). A simple 3 matches. Just how often is it so: The home side wins the first, the visitors take the second game and it all ends in a thrilling finale in the country’s largest stadium. If the score is 2-0 either way by the time it gets to the third match the stadium will be half full. What is the value of a half the seats in a stadium? What is the difference in TV viewership?

There are exceptions – but sometimes they tend to prove the rule rather than discount it. Take Australia’s recent test match series showcasing Shane Warne’s retirement. No need to rig the series because everyone wanted to see Warnie’s last game in their town. So here we had Australia’s crowds packing stadia to ride the success wave rather than view a thrilling contest.

Some indications.

In the last 10 years only 13 test series (of at least 180) have taken place where a side has won the series outright without conceding a match. (9 times this was Australia, 1 involved Sri Lanka klapping Zimbabwe and 1 involved Pakistan doing the same to Bangladesh)

But over all time (many hundred series since 1882) only 13 sides have won a series after a bad start (defined as Down 0-1 in 3/4 Test Series or 0-2 in 5/6 Test Series)

I've always thoght that in any 2 horse race, on most occasions, one can identify the stronger candidate. The stronger candidate usually wins the race – right?

Let us assume we have a classic 6 sided dice. Pakistan are playing Ireland so the dice is entirely a light green colour. 1 side has a shamrock emblazoned on it and the other 5 sides have the crescent and star emblem of Pakistan.

We gooi the dice the first time and up comes the crescent as expected.

The odds remain the same (same dice!) as we gooi it again. Good golly gosh! Now we get a shamrock! Entirely plausible – 1 in 6 aren’t ridiculous odds are they? But then, over time, there should be an even spread of the 1 in 6 winners no matter what stage of the series one is at (1st game, 2nd game or 3rd game) – and there are clearly not!

The third throw (same odds remember). Aha, Pakistan have dug deep and ups pops the crescent & star again. Series won. Delirious crowds in home stadium and the visitors depart on the next plane having held their own. Sound familiar?

Maybe one can argue some psychological angle that the side winning first game let down their guard, are overconfident, are faced with a regrouped opposition, etc etc , but I think the psychologists are not as influential as the bankers.

Games get thrown – and I don’t think that the players feel particularly bad about it. It is basic incentive economics.+

Ag, man – maybe I’m just a bit cynical?

+Steven Levitt in his book : " Freakonomics" deals with three basic flavors of incentive: economic, social, and moral.
In this case. Economic ? - Oh Yeah - "cash is my king". Social ? - "We're providing great entertainment, aren't we?". Moral? - "Who cares? - nobody will know, it's not like we're murdering people or anything!"

Some Random Things

Random quote of current relevance:
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity . . . "

- Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.

Random interesting blogs out there.

Bonobo World

Jaysus, but it's one piss-poor book. Let's deal with the
editing first. I'll admit that I'm as prone to error as anyone and I can't proof read for shit - but that someone is actually credited as having edited this book defies the imagination. There are numerous repetitions.

TwentyMajor

Now, if previous to this statistic Dublin wasn’t the most
likely city in Europe to meet your maker then I would respectfully suggest that crime isn’t really falling at all, so much as escalating. In that sense I can very much understand the government’s frustration at the rate of falling. Negative falling, I think it’s called. Maybe they can use that in their election campaign. Crime is falling negatively

Casa Az

I love this programme. And I’m also slightly in lust with Hugh Laurie - who’d have thunk that Bertie Wooster had such a gritty & sexy side to him?

Woodpigeon

When it comes to skiing I am absolutely fearless. I am also
absolutely clueless. A dangerous combination, I think. We were absolutely wrecked by the end of the day. I had a very pleasant Indian meal in Burlington followed by a few drinks close to my sister’s apartment.

And a bit from the underbelly..
Japanese Forms

Photos from the men's magazines of
yesteryears.

A brief history of Peas

Peas broke up with her beau today.

March 2007

the end

We broke up.

It was mutual.

And amicable.

I feel like Captain Shiteski right now.

This breakup has, like the preceding ones been reasonably public (and on this one, one can even read the other side of the story.)

There was even a bit of warning last month.

February 2007

We had a relationship review at the beginning of this year and it made me realise that if we don’t work, I’ll be okay, I’ll get over him

Things have changed a bit though.

Peas has been blogging for some time now and I have been a regular visitor. A vicarious way of living I guess. I really do dearly love this amazing person. She wears her heart on her sleeve and has a unique style. Full of halarious misspellings but behind it all immensely sharp and very funny. The classic say as you think it sort of girl. And no less than 4 SA Blog Awardes nominations this year to boot.

Anyway …..Peas used to blog on a site simply called Peas on Toast. (although if you visit that site now – its been hijacked by some online dating website!)

She moved to the Mushy site in March 2006 when things went seriously mushy. It took a few days to track her down.

March 06

the worst day of my life

That's today.If there are three people that should never ever come across my blog, they are in order of importance:

My ex S

My ex R

Small Bum

But ESPECIALLY not my ex S.

This has got to be the biggest fuck up ever. He found it without me
even having saying anything. I went out with him for 6 years. This blog would've hurt him like nothing on Earth.I'm actually sort of floating on this dark cloud of Hell, not sure whether to throw myself in front of a bus, or just drink myself to death on the bottle of whiskey I have sitting at home.

Henceforth, please spread the word. My new address is:
http://mushypeasontoast.blogspot.com

Too little too late.

From then on Peas was a bit wary and stopped linking to her Archives on her site. But google rarely forgets. So one can still get there with a bit of sleuthing.

(Try substituting other single syllable words to access the rest : “I”, “the”, “it”, “she” etc.).

It does seem that the bits that would have/did hurt ExS have gone though. So the details of those departures (S & R) have been erased.

But the end of Small Bum is still around…

May 2006

tears in the traffic

"50% of me wants to stay with you, the other 50% thinks its better I leave now."

He left.

Small Bum broke up with me.

I am devastated.

Anyway – why do I go to this effort to haul out the history? Is it some vindictive reminder to Peas of all the crap times she has had to deal with over the last year?

On the contrary.

With the passage of each of these men in her life, we have, through Peas writing, been witness to a life (that between breakups) she has seriously enjoyed and lived fully. Each of these men have been special to her and have been a large part of her being able to enjoy and live her life fully. Each time she has bounced back, stronger, more mature and happier. I want to remind Peas of that.

Before you can say cotton doondies - she will do so again.+

Fly by night

Mate K (phonecall 5.15 pm): “Hey Wit, I’ve been in your town for the last day or so, had hoped to see you but the bloody meeting went on a bit. Must dash and catch the 6 o’clock back to Durbs.”

Mate K (phonecall 5.45 pm) : “Hey, bloody airlines! Flight is seriously delayed – something about a delay this morning turning round. My boarding pass now says feckin’ 8.20pm!! We’re going to beg the car hire guys to give us the car back for a while - How do I get to your place?”

Wit: “Left out of the airport, left again, right into 6th, duck the camera on Target Kloof. When you see the Solly Kramers, left again. Stop – 1 x 6 pack please. My house is about a km from there. See you now.”

6pm (my place). Everywhere in PE takes 15 minutes to get to. The old folks still talk of the good old days when it used to be a “10 minute” town – but how things have changed.

Wit: “Howzit Mate K & Mate D – want a cup of tea or two?”.

Watch some cricket on the box – minnow 1 vs minnow 2. 50 overs of mediocrity coming to a conclusion.

7pm: Mate D’s phone rings: (He is polite and stands up to take the call in the hallway).

Mate D: “Hello …………Yes this Mr Mate D?”

Mate D: “No I don’t need a new credit card – I’m up to my eyeballs in debt as it is. Bye now. ….OK I won’t hang up. SAA you say? My flight has boarded already!!! …….But the boarding pass in my hand says I board at gate 3 at 8.20 – in about 80 minutes! …Where am I? ……….At a mates place having a cup of tea……..Oh, you’re sorry but has there has been a stuff up! …Damn right….and now?….You’ll hold the flight for us. …OK. See you shortly.”

Wit: “Cheers folks. Just watch for that bloody camera on Target Kloof!”

9.20 pm (Phone call –it’s Mate K.) “Hey, we’re back in Sharks territory. That was fun. Must do that again. Never had an entire plane stand up and give me such rapturous applause when I boarded a plane before.”

Got to love our national airline.

Deeply dehumanising racist stereotypes

Thabo Mbeki makes some telling statements this week in his ANC Today weekly online brief. (which also shows and interesting development in that many of the articles now have individual bylines. Anton Harber points out what a paradigm shift this is, here.)

As we celebrate Human Rights Day, it remains to be seen
whether we have the will to know one another and to debate with one another; whether we are willing to spend more time listening to one another, educating ourselves not be too quick to judge as illegitimate the concerns and expressions of any group; and whether we have the courage to engage in a truth and reconciliation process even with regard to the challenge of openly confronting the cancer of deeply dehumanising racist stereotypes that developed over many centuries.The resolve to educate ourselves to not be too quick to judge as illegitimate the concerns and expressions of any group must include not being too quick to judge as illegitimate the concerns and expressions of the African people, the historic victims of racism, who remain deeply disturbed that some in positions of power still think it is normal to speak of them as "kaffirs", and others among our white compatriots think that it is natural to ask the question - since they are Black, how do we know they are not criminals!

I find myself almost wholeheartedly agreeing with Mbeki's article having been confronted first-hand with many of the second-hand anecdotal examples of racism that Mbeki refers to. Rapport, with its Sunday sensationalist headline of "Mbeki Kap Wittes", (Now a dead link as at Jan 2016) of course, concentrated on his thesis that white racists are responsible for our perception of crime. Taken in the context of the entire article, maybe they are.

We fight shy of properly debating this topic, as if racist attitudes are personal matter akin to our sexual or religious persuasion. Not to be challenged or tampered with. Best left alone. Well stuff that! Let us unload the dice and confront the issue head on. Let it hurt a bit to talk about it. Let us (try to) understand what it is really like to be black and white in this country.

And on a happier, but as serious, note I'm loving the way that David Bullard  (UPDATE : Jan2016_now too a dead link - seemingly the Sunday Times has seen fit to get rid of all references to Mr Bullard!) is bouncing back from his own terrible experiences of 2 weeks ago.

Anyway, it’s nothing that a good Cohiba and a glass of Glenmorangie Madeira cask- matured can’t cure.
We live in the most beautiful country and are blessed with the finest people you could imagine, therefore good must eventually triumph over evil. If I can believe that, then so can you and you must — otherwise we are all lost.

Cricket World Cup 69ers

I think that Lance Klusener was one of first players to have the number 69 emblazoned on his back (apparently ever since several Pakistan players were reportedly spotted in a Durban strip bar of the same name on tour in 1998. . ).

I am not sure what that says about the player but it must still be better than number 71 +.

I was hoping to list the current crop of 69ers but had absolutely no luck in finding a one-stop authoritative source for these. As I said I'm not sure what it says about this bunch, whoever they are, but it must mean something, mustn't it?

Besides the very good Cricket World Cup website I can advise visiting these cricketing blogs.

Patrick Kidd's Line & Length, King Cricket, an Aussie perspective at the Cricket-Blog (he has the YouTube clip of Herschelle's 6 sixes), the corridor of uncertainty, and for good measure cricket 24-7.

Local uber-blogger Keo has a cricket section. (Read Mike Stopforth's post on the Keo phenomenon here). And sports journalist Dan Nicholl tries a bit too hard with his Feverpitcher.

All in all - plenty to read & even more to watch.

+ who adopts the same position - but has 2 fingers up her bum!

Mr Rubik

Anyone remember these things?

I must have been about 10 years old and could nail this in a couple of minutes flat. Right now I haven't the slightest clue how I used to do it , so now struck with trying to impress my now similar aged nephews, I have been swotting up on this "skill".

And hell's teeth, not that I'm surprised, but a quick web trawl reveals that the craze didn't die in the 80's+ along with Andrew Ridgeley but that exists an entire subculture of Rubik speedsolvers, blindfolded solvers, one-handed solvers, world championships and a world record solving time of 10.36 seconds. etc.

Wikipedia has a good history of the cube including the comment that :

It has been suggested that the international appeal and export achievement of the Cube became one of the contributing factors in the reform and liberalization of the Hungarian economy between 1981 and 1985, which finally led to the move from communism to capitalism. Financially, the Cube was so successful that Rubik became the first self-made elite in a communist country.

+ Talking of the '80's: Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore's light-hearted movie romp "Music & Lyrics" is fun, sentimental ++ , has a great dig at the hair and style of that era and is worth a watch (on DVD). I often wonder what we will laugh uncontrollably at when we look back at the current decade?

++I must be the only bloke on earth who has shed a sentimental tear with every Hugh Grant film I've seen!

Jeez, we're a strange species!

Too much chucking foice

In his inimitable Irish way Twenty says something I strongly agree with here.

Stopped into a cafe on my travels yesterday in a particularly trendy part
of town.
“I’ll have a cup of tea, please”, I said to the waitron.
“What
kind of tea would you like?”
“Erm, tea tea.”
“Ok, well we have green tea,
white tea, oolong tea, jasmine tea, mint tea, camomile tea, strawberry and
raspberry tea, chai, bla-”
“Stop. Just put a normal teabag in a cup and pour
some boiling water over it.”
“What kind of teabag? Green tea? White tea?
Oolong tea?”
“Fuck off.”
I went for a pint instead. It’s the same with
coffee now. People are so into these mocha-choca-halfcaff-lattes that when you
ask for a cup of black coffee they stare at you like you’ve just raped them with
a whale’s cock.
How long before it starts on Guinness?

Amstel a go go

Now this is news. From the M&G.

The contract for South African Breweries (SAB) to produce, market, sell and distribute Amstel lager has been terminated, Heineken NV said on Monday.Heineken would build a brewery in South Africa and Amstel would be sourced from existing European breweries until the new brewery was complete, the company said in a statement.SAB said it would stop brewing Amstel with immediate effect in a statement on Monday.

I've always found this situation a bit odd - that SAB licence in this brand which is owned by an international competitor. I think what this move does do is to seriously strengthen the position of an opposition player into the South African beer market. Brandhouse will now have the Nambrew (Windhoek) brands as well as Amstel brand to take on Breweries head on (or maybe at least side on!). Now we just need Carling Black Label to withdraw their licence to SAB.

The reasons for ending the deal are a bit spurious and the classic case of simply looking for a contractual loophole to get out of a binding contract.

Amstel initiated the arbitration in 2006 following its conclusion that the acquisition by BevCo of a 15.04 percent shareholding in SABMiller resulted in a material change in ownership of SABMiller, the statement said. Amstel considered this to be harmful to the interests of the Heineken Group.

Ha Ha.

But I do agree with Brandhouse Managing Director Simon Litherland's statement (reported here) that:

"Amstel will be a fantastic addition to our premium brand portfolio and will bring significant scale to our existing beer business".

If I were a marketing man in Brandhouse I would very seriously start marketing this version damned fast.

There is the one serious gap in the market in South Africa, and that's for a decent light beer. One that doesn't diminish one's manhood (generally the "beerbelly around the braai" notion), or fizz like champagne (as does Windhoek Light), is not too sweet (as is Sterling Light), is actually a low alcohol beer (as Castle Lite is not).

Amstel Light has a good snob factor, tastes pretty good as far as light beer goes, and would also appeal to the female market who are a large portion of the light beer market. It would also easily leverage off the brand value that SAB have so kindly developed for the new licence holder.

Good luck I say. I just hope that unlike my friends at SAB you will continue to give me my beer in a decent sized bottle.

Researching for this article I visited this site. JoeSixPack, which did a good job of encouraging me to visit Philadelphia.

P.S. Breweries have been been a little slow (at 13 March) to take this off their site. The proud header they have to "Our Brands" still looks like this.

UPDATE: (IN HORROR)- by the 18th March - SAB are now punting their "Brands" with this ghastly concoction as the lead goose. Say it ain't so!

And the Sharks do it yet again+

Two tries off set-phase ball and 30 points to 14 in an away game. I like it. The Sharks are playing some serious, thinking man's rugby at the moment. It was a relentless, pacy match and again I find myself really loving the brand of game that the guys are playing at the moment. And unbeaten so far in Super14!

What is interesting is that while the team is playing particularly well it has been difficult to single out individual man-of-the-match performances (last week's going to an opposition team member & this week to BJ Botha in the heart of the scrum). The only negative is the way that Pietersen, who when he has a bit of space is nimble and dynamic, is just too predictable under pressure - it is so obvious that he is going to avoid the tackle through a misdirected grubber or flung away pass.

+ Hope I can use this title a few more times this season.

This is amusing

The Witness reports.

A NEWLANDS West man drove his Jeep Cherokee with his entire family on board into the ocean, apparently after an argument with his wife, at the weekend
.........wife was too angry to comment....
..........the local fishermen found the whole scene hilarious.

A society gets the criminals it deserves

I know I bang the drum that says the more things change the more they stay the same quite often. But hat tip to IDEATE who was commenting on this article in IOL.

South Africa should not see itself as the "criminal skunk" of the world because many other countries in transition had the same high crime prevalence.

Searching for the detail on the 19th Century criminolgist Jean Lacassagne referred to in the article, I found this article titled "The Crime Wave" from Time dated 30 June 1975.

Adults are confused and at a loss," says Psychiatrist Bernard Yudowitz. "They
don't know what standards to set for their children or themselves. The bells
that used to ring in your head to say no aren't ringing any more."

Urbanologist Edward Banfield and others see a slippery morality emerging
from the 1960s: the idea that disadvantaged groups "have a kind of quasi right
to have their offenses against the law extenuated, or even to have them regarded
as political acts reflecting a morality 'higher' than obedience to the law."
Says Gerald Caplan, director of the research branch of the Law Enforcement
Assistance Administration: "Is the black fellow who steals a car a victim of
society or its enemy? Is Spiro Agnew a political victim or a predator on
society? People have varying answers."

It seems that every group has caught the knack of rationalizing away violations of the law, from Watergate conspirators to antiwar bombers and young black criminals who define assaults as "political acts." Says Frederick Hacker, a University of Southern California professor of psychiatry and law: "There have been an increasing criminalization of politics and a politicalization of criminals. It's reached the point where
there are no criminals in San Quentin any more. They're all freedom fighters."
It seems clear that some of the old values and restraints have been battered
by recent upheavals—war, riots, assassinations, racial strife, situational ethics, the youth rebellion. As disillusionment sets in, fewer and fewer Americans look to the churches, schools or Washington for moral leadership.

Stern observers of today's widespread ethical torpor tend to agree with the 19th
century French criminologist Jean Lacassagne: "A society gets the criminals it
deserves."

And this reminded me of an earlier post (yes the same beating drum) where I concluded thus.

So it seems then, that disintegration from a gracious and hospitable past to
a present populated by the predatory wealthy and the victimized poor is the bane
and whine of every generation.

More Foreign Connections

Much international sport, in its current form, originates from Great Britain largely as a result of their colonising ways in the Victorian era. The days of early 20th century cartographers colour-coding the imperial possessions of France, King Leopold's Belgium and notably the pink coloured atlas of the British Empire are long over. Perhaps more than any other coloniser the legacy of the British Empire lives on in the sports played to this day in those countries. Most notably cricket.

The truly global game of football has crossed every boundary and is no longer limited by historic geography but now falls under the almost imperious control of FIFA, as our own 2010 world cup preparations are revealing. As much as we'd like to believe that we control the game through our national sporting bodies, these bodies are mere puppets in the hands of FIFA.

The intervention of FIFA in Kenya being a classic case in point.

This week we have an announcement that South Africa's "Premier Soccer League's (PSL) search for a new CEO came to an end when Norwegian Kjetil Siem was announced as incumbent Trevor Phillips' replacement."

Why do sports codes seem so bent on having foreign coaches and administrators? Particularly those of developing nations. This is particularly evident in Asian cricket coaches. Take the following. India (Greg Chappel - Australia), Pakistan (Bob Woolmer - England), Bangladesh (Dav Whatmore - Australia), Sri Lanka (Tom Moody - Australia).

I just find it odd that when it comes to sports administration the grass is always greener from the other side. Foreign coaches play up to the media and generally come off well when they are thrust under the glare of camera flashes and behind a bouquet of microphones. Our new football coach is a classic case in point where he is making all the right noises at this stage but has yet to deliver.

I am not sure that in general foreign coaches deliver anything particularly special on the pitch. Quite frankly, as far as results go, foreign cricket coaches are not doing a great job at all. As this article points out.

I cannot believe that with a population of 1.1 billion people (and counting) and a growing contingent of talented former players that India cannot find an able local coach. The same applies for South Africa.

Go Sharks

John Bishop reports in the Witness.

RUAN Pienaar, who launched a thousand hangovers
with his intimidating touchline
conversion to win Saturday night’s Super 14
clash against the champion Crusaders
at King’s Park, volunteered to take the
last kick of the match.

The Sharks are unbeaten after 5 weeks of the competition. Hell, I've been let down before after a good start to the Super 14 but I'm willing to put some faith into winning a couple of games on the road down south.

Not one SA side lost this weekend. I'm not sure what that means for our World Cup chances but I don't hear many complaints.